When I think of all the lives I’ve lived, and all the ways I’ve died
It can feel like a husk of me is all that’s left alive.
But flesh and blood and breath and tears, prove I am still here.
My lonely only saviour, burnt to ash to reappear.
Not as a shadow, but bright light, clawing back from the abyss
With new battle scars and loves and scenes,
Snapshots I’ll later miss.
Long live this brutal battle, until my final breath
Staring life right back in the eyes, bracing the sucker punch of death.
All consuming – no escape – trapped, enclosed you’re in my space
No respite – no return – love suffocation at pace
Kicking, punching, you want out
Soothing strokes counter your clout
My job now, is you, you see, and here you are, a part of me
It’s not even yet begun.
Come out you cutie baby bum.
A shadow that follows me
appearing when I forget
a reminder. behind her
I’ve not shaken yet
where is your face now
our matching almond eyes
you must hide what’s inside
do I still make you cry?
Sigh. Like I do.
I wasn’t done.
Where are you, in your heart…do I still hum?
Call me your love and let’s call it a day, call it a night – feel it – a life.
Playful soulfood, your banana smile, stay an hour, a day, a weekend, a while.
Give me a squeeze, a handhold you tease, let me lay again silent on you as I please.
In you is peace, calm waters, serene, constant and solid, no frays at the seams.
Scoop me up in your arms abundant, and let’s melt like goo, caramel fondant.
Clinks and chinks and revelry
Worlds exchanged with each story
Self-assuredness wash over we
We are at the pub.
Bubbling bitter, crafted ale
Worlds intertwine with each tale
Truth jokes poke fun at life’s expense
The pub is like a hug.
Fizz and buzz, scotch egg, pork pie
Ideas built that will never fly
Let’s forget, then remember ourselves
Together in the pub.
You ruined my Christnas
And New Year
10 months of life
So now I’m here
No more maipulation
Parasitic ways
Here I am
And here I’ll stay
In peace and kindness
Joy and calm
Free from torment
Safe from fake charm
10 months, I’ll never get back.
Others’ lives, forever, dipped in black.
When you tire of the chaos from the rapids, swim to a steady stream…
Follow my fear
chase its dance
Whip me up
into calm
Like boys and teens and men before
Years of anxious push and fall
We equal plane and skim the lake
Except the moments I am fake
Joy when you leave
and return
Pointless sex yet food for yern
Insecurities confirmation
Is this real? Communication.
Let’s act like it so we’re still there
Or here.
You break me.
My heart cares.
I am changed, I am new, don’t ask me yet, I don’t know who.
Searching deep inside my walls, my shaken soul echoes and falls, down my newly deeper depths, don’t ask me how, we have not met.
Familiar reflection to see, but different seeming, who is she?
Amber lights, not ready set. I’ll be there soon.
I’ll find you yet.
A life barely touched.
Its scarcity of everything.
Are you sent to make me full, my culminated reckoning?
I bow to your power, swirling in made decisions.
Fleeting joys stapled down, drudgery crescendo by incision.
Hungry for defiance! Bubble up inside me..
I mourn this stranger within, what will freshly cut flesh bring – a new lawn?
Give me back. I am not ready for your water…
Drowning in April rain
A lamb to the slaughter.
Liberants 